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Day 435: We Found Our War Hero – No Others Need Apply
Every so often, I come across a story so skull-squishingly incredible, I feel I have to splurt it into an article before someone tells me it isn’t true. I wouldn’t feel right soaking up too much of...
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Day 445: The Mighty Cheeto
Consider the Cheeto: crisp, yielding, with the audible snap of a thousand tiny hands sharing one unison clap. It lands upon the tongue in a Riverdance of dissolution, its crunchy remnants...
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Day 454: Topping The Market, Part II
The beauty of what some call ‘useless trivia’ is in its ephemeral nature. The facts and statistics under this heading are fleeting and transitory, often surpassed or rendered obsolete before they’ve...
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Day 479: There’s More Than One Way To Pluck A Chicken
I sat down to write this morning and found myself a little bit hungry. Good news! The first item that squirmed through the button-hole of randomosity belonged to chicken lollipops. Okay, they’re just...
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Day 483: Terra Incog-Neato
You’d think with humankind’s great need to stretch our fences and occupy as much space as humanly possible, there would be no unclaimed land left. How could any snippet of earth be left flitting in...
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Day 504: Slappin’ A Big Ol’ Wet One On The Page
Rather than compose an elegant piece of lyrical prose about the subject of kissing, I think I’ll just rattle off a bunch of trivia using my old trusty friend, the bullet-point list. Is it laziness?...
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Day 532: Some People Call Me The Space Comrade
Yesterday I penned a touching tribute to those plucky little furry heroes, the unsung monkeys who ventured into space at the hands of American scientists, who were hungry for a forward step in their...
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Day 533: Lies! History Is Teeming With Lies!!!
It should come as no surprise that much of the trivial minutiae with which people pepper their conversations is either completely false or so deeply steeped in bullshit, the smell will linger for...
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Day 535: How Low We’ll Sink… The Story Of Unit 731
I enjoy a good creepy story, the kind that makes you want to crawl out of your skin and find something less goose-bumpy to slip into. Every so often I find one that’ll make you want to burn that skin...
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Day 548: A Toast To Summer’s Boogie – July Celebrations You’ve Never Heard Of
Happy Canada Day to my fellow countrymen and countrywomen, and for those outside our borders, happy first day of the most awesome month of the year. Everyone knows that July features two fireworky and...
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Day 598: A Thousand Words, Part DXCVIII
The trailer begins: “In a world… that looks strikingly familiar…” We exist in a vacuum of repetition. No less than 35 sequels are plopping their predictable posteriors into theatres in 2013. This is...
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Day 600: A Look At What’s To Come
Whenever I reach a round number in this all-consuming project I like to look back and reflect on how far I’ve come, or how much volunteer charity work I might have done had I not been spending a...
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Day 602: Veblens And Giffens And Rich People’s Phones
I think it’s safe to say that I will probably never be fantastic with money. After five years of earning the mellifluous bounty of government dronesmanship, my savings account barely contains enough...
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Day 613: The Bullocky Stench Of The Temporal Jet-Set
Here’s a thought. If Marty McFly had set the time circuits on the DeLorean to show up fifteen minutes early instead of ten when he returned to 1985, he might have thwarted the Libyan terrorists before...
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Day 638: Break Out The Balloons (And Wash Your Hands) – It’s Almost October!
By no means am I eager to scoot September out the door and usher in October, which is quite often the beginning of winter in this northern hellscape town I call home. But I’ve got a theme planned for...
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Day 649: Looking For That Lucky Number
For the record, should anyone feel to compelled to keep such statements in some sort of record, I do not believe I will ever win the lottery. I say this with the utmost confidence and a wry awareness...
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Day 650: There Once Was A Law About Naming…
There once was a thought for a game: To write about laws about names. And just for a gimmick, To write it in lim’rick Though some will turn out rather lame. It’s been quite a while since I tried A...
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Day 677: Pouring A Frothy Pint Of Culture
As the cast of characters in my young adult life glide into the final act, preparing for their bow and subsequent re-emergence in the sequel (Middle-Age: The Saggening), I find myself reflecting on...
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Day 742: Elephants v. The People
Consider if you will the mighty elephant. With the possible exceptions of dolphins and William H. Macy, no creature in our great global bestiary is as universally beloved as the elephant. Perhaps...
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Day 756: The Little Town That Probably Wasn’t
Apart from a couple of quick overnighters in nearby Calgary and a 4-day excursion to my in-laws’ place in Kamloops last summer, I have not left the confines of my city since beginning this project....
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